What Is Catfishing? How to Recognise and Avoid It

Catfishing is when someone builds a fake identity online — a different name, stolen photos, an invented life — to lure people into a relationship under false pretences. It's been around since long before dating apps existed, but the anonymity of online dating makes it easier to pull off than it should be.

What Catfishing Actually Means

At its core, catfishing is impersonation for emotional or financial gain. The catfish might use someone else's photos entirely, invent a job and backstory, or simply exaggerate details until the person you're talking to barely resembles reality. Sometimes it's harmless-seeming loneliness dressed up as confidence. Often, especially in Nigeria's online dating space, it's the opening move of a romance scam — commonly referred to as "yahoo" — where the fake identity exists purely to build enough trust to eventually ask for money.

Why People Catfish

The motives vary, and understanding them helps you spot the pattern faster.

• Insecurity. Someone unhappy with their appearance or circumstances borrows a more attractive life to feel wanted.
• Loneliness or boredom. Less malicious, but still dishonest — they want connection without the vulnerability of being seen as themselves.
• Financial scams. The most serious version, where the fake persona is a tool, built specifically to manipulate someone into sending money, gift cards, or airtime over time.

The Warning Signs

Catfish accounts tend to behave in predictable ways.

• They refuse video calls and voice notes. Every excuse sounds reasonable on its own — bad network, camera spoiled, shy about their voice — but stacked together over weeks, it's a pattern, not bad luck.
• Their online presence is thin. No tagged photos, no old posts, an account that looks freshly created, or a social media profile with almost no engagement from real friends.
• The story doesn't hold together. Details about their job, family, or location shift slightly between conversations.
• They move the relationship fast and off the app quickly, often before you've had a single real-time conversation.
• They avoid meeting, always with a reasonable-sounding excuse — travelling for work, stuck abroad, waiting on a visa.

Many of these overlap with the tells in how to spot a fake dating profile, because catfishing and fake profiles are really the same problem wearing different clothes.

Common Storylines Catfish Reach For

Certain backstories show up again and again because they conveniently explain away video calls, meetings, and inconsistencies.

• Working abroad or on an offshore contract. A job that supposedly keeps them out of the country, with unreliable internet and an ever-shifting schedule, explains away missed calls indefinitely.
• A demanding profession with odd hours — doctor, engineer on a remote site, military or security work — used to justify long silences and last-minute cancellations.
• A recent loss, such as being widowed or newly single after a difficult breakup, used early to fast-track sympathy and emotional closeness before you've had time to actually get to know them.
• A once-in-a-lifetime opportunity or windfall on the horizon, which conveniently sets up a future financial ask once trust is established.

None of these stories are automatically false — real people do have demanding jobs and real losses. The warning sign is when the story consistently explains away every request for proof.

How to Test Authenticity

You don't need to play detective — a few simple, low-drama tests do most of the work.

• Ask for a voice note. It's a small ask that a real person will happily do and a catfish will stall on.
• Ask for a quick video call, even just thirty seconds. Seeing someone move and speak in real time is very hard to fake.
• Ask specific, unscripted questions about their day, their neighbourhood, something only a real local would know casually.
• Reverse image search their photos.
• Favour platforms with real verification. On Baejá, every member confirms their identity with their NIN and a live selfie check, and every profile opens with a genuine voice note — see how verification works. It doesn't remove every risk, but it removes most of the tools a catfish relies on.

What to Do If You've Been Catfished

It happens to careful people too — catfish are often patient and convincing.

• Don't blame yourself. The manipulation is designed to feel real; falling for it says nothing about your judgement in general.
• Cut contact immediately and don't send anything else, especially money, no matter what story or crisis is presented.
• Report and block through the app rather than trying to confront or expose them yourself. Our community rules explain how reports are handled.
• Talk to someone you trust. Shame keeps people quiet, and quiet is exactly what lets these accounts keep operating.

Catfishing thrives on distance — the gap between who someone claims to be and who they actually are. Close that gap early, with a voice note, a video call, or a verified profile, and most catfish simply move on to an easier target. Create your profile on Baejá and start conversations where a verified identity is the baseline, not a bonus.